


Sashaying With Scissors Still Counts As Running, Quinoa!

by AdaptationDecay



Category: My Imaginary Well Dressed Toddler Daughter
Genre: Epistolary, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-05 21:30:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1098797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdaptationDecay/pseuds/AdaptationDecay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinoa's teacher has some questions...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sashaying With Scissors Still Counts As Running, Quinoa!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Measured_Words](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Measured_Words/gifts).



Dear Ms Beveridge,

I'm afraid that your letter excusing Quinoa for her recent absence is not considered acceptable. Students are generally permitted to miss classes at St Hepburn Elementary for reasons of illness or injury. Absences for family holidays are permitted with prior approval under limited circumstances. Being "too cool for school" falls under none of these categories.

I think perhaps we need to talk.

Mrs Clarins

***

Dear Ms Beveridge,

I'm writing to inform you about an act of vandalism committed by your daughter at school today. Our groundskeeper was very distressed to find that his prize Plumeria shrub had been uprooted during recess and carried into the classroom by your daughter and her friend, Listicle.

When asked to explain her actions, Quinoa was only able to respond that the Plumeria had complemented her dress. She refused to be parted from it and the Plumeria was further damaged in the ensuing struggle with the result that it could not be replanted.

Could you please speak to your daughter about her behavior? Reimbursement for the Plumeria would also be appreciated.

Mrs Clarins

***

Dear Ms Beveridge,

This is just a note to update you on an incident that took place at school today. I'm afraid that Quinoa, Zen and Fracking caused a disturbance during fingerpainting, throwing a large amount of red paint at little LoFi.

Quinoa was genuinely penitent after being told that LoFi's outfit was only faux fur and the girls have made up. However it is possible that you will be hearing from LoFi's parents regarding their dry cleaning bill and I thought you should be kept informed.

Mrs Clarins

***

Dear Ms Beveridge,

Today Quinoa decided to play Gallery Opening with some of her classmates. She arranged a series of crayon drawings by her friend Emoji on the far wall of the class, with - in my opinion - a certain amount of artistic flair. Unfortunately, the next phase in her game involved "drinks and nibbles" for the children playing the gallery attendees and I'm sorry to say that Quinoa threw a tantrum after being presented with the cheez-strings from Bitcoin's lunchbox and several cartons of grape juice which she described as being of an unreasonably inferior vintage.

As a result, Quinoa was denied recess privileges today. When I scolded her during her recess detention for giving me a look which could only be described as a disaffected sneer she seemed unaccountably relieved and told me that she'd "been working on that one".

Is everything okay at home?

Mrs Clarins

***

Dear Ms Beveridge,

After she falsely accused her classmate, Snapchat, of theft. I attempted to tell Quinoa the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf, but she immediately lost interest upon learning that the young shepherd in the story was not Myf Shepherd the Australian supermodel.

Can you please make it clear to your daughter that we take theft very seriously at St Hepburn, but stealing a person's "signature look" does not qualify as theft under the school's code of conduct.

Mrs Clarins

***

Dear Ms Beveridge,

A photoshoot, even for Vogue, does not fall within any of the approved reasons a child may miss school without prior notice.

Come on, Ms Beveridge. We've talked about this.

Mrs Clarins

***

Dear Ms Beveridge,

I am writing in order to make absolutely clear that Quinoa's recent detention was given for talking out of turn and not - as I overheard her telling Caret and Drambuie - for "breaking all the fashion rules". 

Mrs Clarins

***

Dear Ms Beveridge,

Thank you for writing to let us know what upset Quinoa so badly. We were naturally very concerned at her seemingly limitless woe, particularly as we weren't able to identify a cause and Quinoa herself seemed too distressed to tell us.

I don't claim to understand how little Jarlesberg's poncho could have left her so upset, but we will ensure that she isn't exposed to it again in the future. 

Mrs Clarins

***

Dear Ms Beveridge,

I believe we've made a breakthrough with Quinoa's progression in Math. When you go through tonight's homework with her, please be sure to replace the word 'train' with 'model', 'track' with 'catwalk', 'Pittsburgh' with 'Backstage area' and 'New York' with 'The photographer from Parisian Vogue'.

This has proven to be an excellent way to engage her interest in the subject and her recent progress has been remarkable. I suspect it is only a matter of time, however, before she begins to ask why Lily Cole is travelling down the catwalk at 100mph.

Being more au fait than myself with the world of fashion, perhaps you can furnish me with a plausible answer for Quinoa's inevitable questions?

Mrs Clarins

***

Dear Ms Beveridge,

This missive is to inform you that Quinoa must continue reading the picture book she was assigned as homework. (Unless she can bring in an official letter from her family doctor attesting that her allergy to the font Comic Sans is a genuine medical issue and not just something she made up.)

Mrs Clarins

***

Dear Ms Beveridge,

While it is technically true that Quinoa's outfit _was_ appropriate attire for taking exercise, please bear in mind that physical education at St Hepburn generally consists of dodgeball in an indoor gymnasium rather than stadium jumping. I would be grateful if Quinoa's gym outfit next week consisted of shorts, a t-shirt and running shoes, not jodhpurs, an over-sized poet blouse and a pair of riding boots.

Mrs Clarins

***

Dear Ms Beveridge,

Please can you take some time to help Quinoa rehearse her lines for the Thanksgiving pageant? When her classmate Halloumi - who is playing Squanto - asks what she is thankful for, she is supposed to reply with "this new country where we can worship freely." In rehearsals she has had a tendency to become distracted and respond with "The new Isabel Marant children's collection."

I also note, that she has not yet brought her costume into school. Quinoa speaks highly of the "Pilgrim-chic" ensemble you are assembling, but I will still want to vet her costume before opening night. Just to be safe, you understand? We don't want a repeat of last Christmas.

Mrs Clarins


End file.
